Speaking to Blind People Like We’re Normal 101

An introductory course

Hear me read this post on the Deep Sy podcast!

Content note: a person in this story expresses thoughts of suicide.

Many years ago, I was speaking with someone we’ll call Jim, a fake name I’m giving him for a vast expanse of reasons that will become evident shortly. Jim told me his mother had contracted a medical condition which would eventually make her blind.

“Oh…,” I said. I hoped I sounded surprised and empathetic because I felt both. But I was also trying to mask apprehension. I’ve had many conversations like this over the years. They can be lovely. Often the person in Jim’s position is seeking help for their loved one, and I’m always keen to oblige. But these conversations can also devolve quickly.

This one took an immediate, unprecedented nose dive.

“She says when she becomes blind she will kill herself.”

I don’t remember how (or if) I reacted to this. And before I made any progress sorting through the emotional layers, Jim slapped on several more.

“So I told my mom that I know someone who is blind and uses a screen reader and a cane, but otherwise leads a pretty normal life.”

Again, no idea how I responded. I’m sure I did, but it would have been automatic, a skeleton crew in my brain’ doing the best it could while everyone else suddenly took a lunch break to dissociate.

But let me, with the advantage of hindsight, untangle my internal reaction.