How the Grinch Failed to Steal Christmas from the Blind Whos
A warm, cozy, violently anti-ableist Christmas story
Hear me read this story on the Deep Sy podcast!
Every Who Down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot.
But the Grinch, who lived just north of Who-ville, Did NOT!
The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
Or maybe, just maybe,
His problem was sight.
For the Grinch was a grump, quite a miserable guy.
And he saw everything out of both of his eyes.
But the Whos down in Who-ville were perfectly kind.
They were lovely and gentle,
And totally blind!
(Well, there was one exception, and we’ll get there, no doubt.
One blind Who, uh, let’s say, had some stuff to work out).
The Grinch knew in his heart that he had to be right
About Christmas for he was the one who had sight.
“What can you really know if you can’t see a thing?”
Thought the Grinch to himself. “They should make me their king.”
“I could tell them what’s wrong. I could tell them what’s right.
I could lead them through their sad, eternal, blind night.”
“And the first thing I’ll do from my new rightful throne?
Make it clear that their Christmas, I do not condone!”
Then he loaded some bags, and some old empty sacks
On a ramshackle sleigh, and hitched up his dog, Max.
“This is stop number one,” the old Grinchy Claus hissed.
And he climbed to a roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
Then he started to slink with a smile most unpleasant
In this Who family room with his eyes on their presents.
Then a small voice behind him he knew was a Who
Said, “Hello Mr. Grinch. I’ve been waiting for you.”
He turned around fast, and he saw Cindy-Lou
A cute little Who, standing just three foot two.
“But now why is she pointing?” he thought with a frown,
For the Who girl was pointing straight down at the ground.
The Grinch cast his gaze down, and he felt like a dope
For around his green foot was a circle of rope.
Cindy-Lou pushed a button, and with a tight pinch,
The rope grabbed the green ankle, and hoisted the Grinch.
As he hung in the air, the Who sprayed him with mase.
Then she cocked her fist back, and punched him in the face.
Cindy-Lou got a knife, and he thought he was dead,
But she cut the rope loose, and he fell on his head.
She held up her remote. There was one button more.
When she pressed it, the Grinch went right through a trap door.
He fell to the basement, and heard his knee pop.
Then some large heavy items on his head were dropped.
Some pots and some pans, then a glass and a vase,
Then a chair, then some books, then the whole wood bookcase.
Well the Grinch now was covered in bruises and cuts
But the Who-girl jumped down, kicked him right in the nuts!
“Okay, grinch, don’t you move. You should not try to run.”
Said that Cindy-Lou Who as she pulled out a gun.
“Oh, like you can use that. A blind girl with a Glock?
Why, you can’t even see, let alone take a shot!”
Then the Grinch heard a “bang!” And he felt a great fear
As a bullet had just barely missed his right ear!
Then the click of the hammer, she aimed right at him.
The Grinch yelled “I give up!” And young Cindy-Lou grinned.
“But please tell me one thing,” said the Grinch, “I must know.
Tell me how you had all these traps ready to go.
You had information, prepared these attacks.”
Then Cindy-Lou Who threw a dog treat to Max.
“Max! You betrayer! You scoundrel! You mut!”
But another loud “Bang!” and he kept his mouth shut.
“Now you listen here, and you listen real good.
I won’t end your life, though I certainly could.
In the morning this town will have our Christmas feast.
If you don’t want to cook alongside the roast beast,
Then you must stop believing you’re better than me —
And the Whos here in Who-ville — because you can see.”
Then the Grinch looked despondent, distraught, and he cried,
“I’ve been such a fool, full of ableist pride!”
Then a thought struck the Grinch, and he started to wail.
“This whole town must hate me! They’ll throw me in jail!”
“Do not fret. Here in Who-ville that won’t be your fate
For the Whos don’t believe in the carceral state.
We repair social harm, and we all strive for peace.
So we burned down the jail, defunded the police.”
“But what of your punching? Your kicking? Your gun?”
“Well you can’t blame a Who girl for having some fun!”
The Grinch was so shocked that he fell to his knees.
“So you’ll let me go, let me do as I please?”
Then the Who girl came close, got up right in his face.
“Don’t forget you’d be dead were it not for my grace.
You will now get along with the Whos in the town.
You’ll show love and relinquish your silly, fake crown.”
Then she bandaged him up, and she took him upstairs.
Cindy-Lou grabbed her cane, and they walked to the square.
With the lights all strung up and a song in the air,
Every Who down in Who-ville was gathered right there.
The Grinch walked among them, asked each for forgiveness.
Of course, they said “Yes!” After all, it was Christmas.
He felt love. He felt joy. He could not help but grin.
But, confused, he saw Cindy-Lou staring at him.
The Who pointed two fingers, one each at both eyes,
Then one straight at the Grinch, which was quite a surprise.
And he gaped as he stared at young Cindy-Lou Who
When he saw the blind girl mouthing “I’m watching you.”
They all sang, and they danced, and they had a great feast.
And he, HE HIMSELF, the Grinch carved the roast beast.
A great lesson, the Grinch took from this fateful night.
We are all just as good, those without and with sight.
And there was one more thing the Grinch knew to be true.
He would never — NO NEVER — cross Cindy-Lou Who.