Disability, Reproduction, and “Lone Wolves”

A movie review for the upcoming Reel Abilities Film Festival

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Under ordinary circumstances, I would shy away from writing about genetics and reproduction here.

I’m blind because of the treatment for retinal cancer I had as a child. The cancer resulted from a random genetic mutation, but the specific type of retinoblastoma I developed can be hereditary. Any child of mine has about a 45% chance of getting the disease. Fortunately, the treatment has progressed enormously since I was a baby. Children in the US nowadays, especially those whose parents know to look out for the cancer, nearly always survive, often with decent vision, occasionally 20/20.

Nevertheless, when my retinoblastoma doctor found out my wife was pregnant, it couldn’t have been a full minute before she started talking about prenatal genetic testing, and abortion. I wasn’t surprised. People often communicate in one way or another that disabled lives are not worth living. Do yourself a favor and don’t look up statistics about abortion after positive prenatal tests for conditions causing disabilities. You’ll get really sad, unless you’re quietly a bit of a Nazi.

So my work, light-hearted as it generally is, doesn’t feel like a great match for discussion of genetics and reproduction. Things get real dark real fast.

Which is why I’m so impressed by what I’m writing about today, the award-winning indie film Lone Wolves. It centers a woman choosing whether to attempt becoming pregnant with a distinct possibility of having a disabled child, while being charmingly goofy and making me crack up several times (even while sitting completely alone in my apartment). And it does all that from a powerfully empathetic and counter-cultural perspective. A huge thanks to the Reel Abilities Film Festival for hooking me up with an online viewing of the film with audio description (the additional audio track that narrates visual details for blind viewers) so I could write about it. It’s rare to access audio description ahead of a showing in the film world, even for big studio productions.

Light spoilers for Lone Wolves ahead, though many of the details are in the film’s trailer and marketing.

The film stars its co-writers, Matt Foss and the Tony-nominated Cora Vander Broek, as Ben and Fran, high school friends in their 40’s who haven’t seen each other in person for 20 years. The reason they’ve reconnected, and the movie’s premise, is that Fran wants to have a child, so she organized a DIY artificial insemination weekend retreat in their hometown of Toledo, Ohio. Ben is the donor.

The first half hour is the funniest. Fran has thoroughly planned each minute detail of the weekend. But her personality leans prim and reserved, so her discomfort is palpable as Ben receives voice and video messages explaining everything she has neatly laid out for him in his hotel room. Collection cups, sports drinks for rehydration, pornography, and more. She has a strict donation schedule over the 36-hour period they have together, and she seemingly can’t stop herself from discussing refractory periods.

But her plans run headlong into Ben. Her clumsy, oversharing, awkward friend’s anxieties, of both the social and performance variety, are powerful enough to throw into question his declaration on Fran’s medical forms that he has no relevant health conditions to disclose.

Foss and Vander Broek push their characters’ social uneasiness in these early beats hard, but without overselling. The two have a level of comedic chemistry that feels like they worked together for much longer than the movie’s extremely brief 15-day shoot. The result is comically heightened gracelessness that is a pleasure to watch.

As her plan falls apart in the face of Ben’s erectile woes, Fran nearly has a panic attack. She tries to regain a handle of the situation, first through gentle, accommodating encouragement, then through harsh rebuke. The panic and fixation on control are the primary way the movie implies Fran is neurodivergent, but the implications never become explicit.

Ben, on the other hand, slowly reveals several increasingly serious medical and mental health details that he has withheld: slow metabolism, difficulty with fine motor skills (hence the clumsiness), a family history of cancer, a bout of suicidal ideation, and a recent diagnosis of autism.

The last of those mirrors Foss’s own late-in-life autism diagnosis, which occurred in the middle of drafting the script. Lone Wolves’ director Ryan Cunningham says she recognized the signs and pointed Foss toward testing. Then they reworked the script to include a diagnosis for Ben. It was a great edit, not least because the way Ben unintentionally reveals this detail to Fran is laugh-out-loud funny.

Vander Broek’s performance is solid, particularly her portrayal of Fran’s fear. But she had less to work with in terms of writing than Foss. The reasons for Fran’s sometimes abrupt swings in attitude toward Ben can be hard to track, even though they drive most of the movie’s dramatic tension. This is easily Lone Wolves’ weakest aspect.

Foss’s performance of Ben is charming and thoughtful. The character is well-grounded in his past: his social and romantic misfires in high school (which include an overly involved prom-posal to Fran that she accepted and later took back), as well as his depression about the death of a loved one. While discussing grief, he explains how he found consolation and delivers probably the clearest articulation of the film’s central theme:

“There’s this privilege in learning that people you love the most, they may end up being the ones that cause you the most pain. You get to make this decision that acknowledges that to be open to the good, that the bad, or at least the hard, could be coming too.”

This is the challenge issued to Fran, gentle and humane as it is. Can she relinquish control, set aside the risk management, and embrace the odds of having a disabled child? Is what she loves about Ben—his compassion, creativity, and his understanding of her desire to start a family—more important to her than what is conventionally desirable in genetic make up?The questions are particularly interesting in light of Fran’s own neurodivergence. Is a world where people aren’t hesitant about having disabled children a more gracious place for her to exist? Does her own value hang in the balance of her choice? Fran never brings up economic concerns, which would of course further complicate these questions.

Witnessing someone take seriously the worth of disabled lives while processing these questions on screen was more than refreshing. It was affirming. A necessary reminder that efficiency and the avoidance of difficulty are not the sole basis for reproductive decision making. That we can value the entirety of life’s complexity. That disability is not always a deal breaker.

The fact that this happens throughout a jovial, bittersweet comedy is a testament to the thoughtfulness of Foss, Vander Broek, Cunningham, and the whole creative team. It’s also a reminder for writers like me that the right angle on even the darkest topics can help you find your way past the heaviness to the humanity.

Lone Wolves is showing at the Reel Abilities Film Festival in New York City this upcoming Thursday, April 23, and streaming for anyone in the tri-state area until May 5.

If you’re in New York, come out to some of the Reel Abilities events between April 23 and 30. They have an incredible lineup of disability-centered films and panels, and damn near every accommodation you can think of. They’ve carved out a pretty amazing space that it’s hard to find elsewhere. I’ll be at multiple events. Come say hi! And if you can’t make it, check out the slate of streamed films and events.