Deep Sy

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Why Using ‘Blind’ Figuratively Is a Bad Idea

Sy Hoekstra — Wed, 09 Sep 2026 11:04:14 GMT

Hear me read this post on the Deep Sy podcast.

The Parable of Jake

Imagine a funeral. A man gets up to eulogize his father, Jake. He says his dad was a good man, beloved by his family and community. The mourners cry and laugh at stories reminding them of Jake’s multifaceted character, his trials and accomplishments, his hobbies and passions.

Then someone from the crowd yells out:

“Hey, remember when that scammer got all Jake’s money?!” The yeller is chuckling.

The son looks pained and taken aback.

“Yeah,” says the yeller, still laughing. “A guy called and said he was from the ‘American Bank of the USA’ and needed your dad’s bank info, and Jake gave it all to him!”

“Uh, okay, let me finish the eulogy. We aren’t looking for stories from the crowd,” says the son.

“He lost like all your inheritance!!!” screams the yeller, now slapping his knees.

“Sir, everyone here is quite sad and that’s a painful memory—”

“I’ve been making memes about it,” shouts the yeller.

“What?”

“Yeah, they’re doing really well online. A lot of people know your dad now.”

“I, I think you should leave.”

“For a lot of people, Jake basically means gullible twit,” continues the yeller, unabated. “It’s like his whole legacy for most people.”

“That’s horrifying,” says the son.

“Merriam-Webster reached out this morning. They’re going to add ‘Jake’ as a noun that means ‘dupe, especially one who loses his family’s wealth to a particularly obvious or untalented swindler.’”

Why Using ‘Blind’ Figuratively Is a Bad Idea

Sy Hoekstra — Wed, 09 Sep 2026 11:02:30 GMT

Welcome to year two of Deep Sy! Today, I talk about the stranger on the street who recently explained how grateful she was not to be me. Then I read this week’s post about all the terrible ways we use the word “blind” as a figure of speech.

Mentioned today: the episode of this podcast, “Wy Do People Who Can See Call Themselves Blind?”

Become a paid subscr…

Welcome to Year Two of Deep Sy!

Sy Hoekstra — Mon, 07 Sep 2026 12:03:44 GMT

I’m back! Did you desperately miss getting Deep Sy emails the past couple months? OK, did you miss them a little? Did you… notice you weren’t getting them?

Well, regardless, here they are again!

After taking some time off, I’ve decided to mix things up a little (just a little) here. You’ll get a lot of what you’re used to from me still: funny personal essays on my adventures in blindness, and some disability-related short humor. But there will be a couple new formats of writing and podcasts coming as well. Plus I will probably have some non-disability-related humor in there too. Stay tuned!

We’ll start this Wednesday with my thoughts on using blindness as a metaphor for ignorance, foolishness, and a plethora of other negative things. Or, at least, we’ll start this Wednesday for the paid subscribers. Because something that’s not changing is they still get everything a month earlier in addition to the biweekly bonus podcasts. It’s my thanks to them for giving me financial room in my freelancer life to pursue comedy writing, something I’ve always wanted to do. Join them, if you feel so moved!

Subscribe now

Recent Published Humor of Mine

Speaking of comedy writing, I did still publish a few things while I was off from Deep Sy that can tide you over until Wednesday.

- A number of pieces in The Squeaky Wheel, the disability satire publication where I have now been made an editor! Read all of those here. They include:

o “Blind Family Wonders How Sighted People Ever Lose Things”

o “Meta Smart Glasses Empower Blind People to Participate in Corporate Surveillance”

o “A Look Inside the Rise of Monster Powerchair Rallies”

o “We Tried All the Top Prosthetic Body Parts, These Are Our Favorites”

o “Uncle’s ‘Happy Birthday’ Post Once Again Omits He Wanted You Aborted”

- “Bluey Episode Pitches Rejected Because the Writers Are Cowards” in MuddyUm

- “I’m an Exhausted LinkedIn Scammer, Can I Please Just Have Money?” – in Dr. Funny, as part of a challenge to write humor in 151 words or less

- “Further Presidential Rechristening Announcements after Lake America” in MuddyUm

I’m very excited to be back for another year with all of you. See you soon, and happy reading!

The Deep Sy Summer Break

Sy Hoekstra — Fri, 10 Jul 2026 16:36:34 GMT

Hi all,

Today, a quick announcement, a World Cup-related humor piece I had published, and a conversation with my three-year-old.

July Break

I’m going on a break from publishing new things here for July. Everybody who has a paid subscription will not be charged for that time. Your next payment will be pushed off for the number of days I’m not active. I may send a newsletter if things I wrote are published elsewhere, or there are any shocking developments in the world of me, but otherwise, you’ll hear from me again in August.

During the time off, I’m going to be doing a little planning/getting ahead for the future. I’d love to hear from you about any of the following:

1. What you’ve liked most from me here

2. Anything you’d like me to focus or expand on

3. Anything you would want to read/listen to from me that you haven’t heard yet

Any and all answers, no matter how long or short, to any of these prompts are highly appreciated. You all are the reason I can spend time doing this, and I really do want to hear from you. Just hit reply to this email or leave a comment!

The Barbaric Game of Soccer Explained by Me, the Ball: I beg you, America, do not fall in love!

“The World Cup is drawing millions of viewers in America, but I am told many in this nation do not know how soccer works. Please, before you become fanatics of the brutality, hear my testimony, understand the game, and have mercy on my kind!”

Read the piece here and learn the game from a new perspective.

A Conversation with Emma

I’ll leave you with this conversation I had with Emma, my three-year-old, at the airport the other day:

Emma: Daddy, call me on the phone. I am the firefighters. I can help you with fire or anything else in your house.

Me: Hello? Can you help please? There is a rhinoceros in my house.

Her: Oh, he wanted to be inside?

Me: Yes. Come get him out!

Her: But he wants to stay.

Me: But I’m afraid he will break all the stuff in my house.

Her: Okay, I will come take all the stuff out of your house.

Me: But I want the stuff in the house. I want the rhino to leave.

Her: (silence)

Me: Uh, the rhino says he is going to start a fire in my house.

Her: Okay, I’ll come get him.

Me: Thank you.

Happy summer! May your homes be rhino-free.

Bonus Episode: What I Tell People Who Are Going Blind

Sy Hoekstra — Fri, 03 Jul 2026 11:03:39 GMT

In today’s bonus episode:

- Smart phone tutoring therapy for senior citizens

- Long-forgotten software

- The diving board of panic

- Unstoppability snake oil

Submit questions to be answered on future bonus podcasts here: https://deepsy.net/survey/4746402

Today’s music is “Brilliant Bacon Bagel” by Andre Louis

The podcast art and other blog graphics are by Will…

Bonus Episode: My Trip to a World Cup Match

Sy Hoekstra — Sat, 20 Jun 2026 11:02:17 GMT

In today’s bonus episode:

- Drinking a train of beer

- Scots attempt French

- The joy of going to Foxborough and not having to watch the Patriots

- The beautiful game (of Knicks basketball)

Submit questions to be answered on future bonus podcasts here: https://deepsy.net/survey/4746402

Today’s music is “Brilliant Bacon Bagel” by Andre Louis

The podcast art and…

Please Stop Talking about the ‘Quality' of Disabled Life

Sy Hoekstra — Thu, 11 Jun 2026 11:03:34 GMT

Sighted people are usually surprised to learn there is endless discussion among blind people about whether we would want to see if given the opportunity. The point of confusion is simple. “Why wouldn’t you?” There are lots of answers, but most boil down to the fact that many (though certainly not all) of us are quite comfortable being blind. We don’t pretend to be comfortable to feel better, or to have a stiff upper lip about our lot in life. We’re truly fine with it. This is generally unfathomable to abled people.

I’m sure I’ll write about my position in this discussion at some point. But for now, I want to take the hypothetical one step further. What if the question wasn’t whether to leave blindness behind, but chronic pain. Then, surely, the answer would be an unequivocal “yes, I’d do it.” Right?

Not exactly unequivocal. Lucy Webster is a British journalist and disability activist with cerebral palsy. She also has chronic pain. Or she used to. She happily concedes that pain is “rubbish.” But in a recent post, which appears below in full, she details her complex thoughts on the pain vanishing, and how to communicate those thoughts to non-disabled people. I always find myself nodding along to Lucy’s incisive articulation of the strangeness, anguish, and joy that are disabled life in an ableist world. But I wanted to highlight this post because it explains how the assumptions underlying the question “Why wouldn’t you?” lead, quite directly, to suffering and even death for disabled people. They are assumptions we (including, often, me) need to unearth, scrutinize, and then chuck in a bonfire.

Thanks so much to Lucy for permission to repost here. She writes about disability, sexuality, and gender on Substack at The View from Down Here (which is also the title of her book). Click the subscribe button. It’s well worth your time.

Subscribe to The View from Down Here

Pain and the Nonsense Concept of ‘Quality of Life’

Some complicated thoughts

Hello,

Whisper it… For the last two weeks, I haven’t been in pain.

Maybe that doesn’t sound like a big deal to you. But it is to me. Because I’ve spent about a decade managing a searing pain around the top of my spine and across my right shoulder, that honestly felt like someone was holding a lighter in my muscles. For the first five or so years it would come and go, worse when I was working or out and about but better when I got out of my chair. But then it settled into a constant nag, angry and raw. In the past few years, the only relief came from a massage and only lasted 48 hours or so, if I was lucky.

To be honest I’d just priced it in. The pain was bad but what was worse was all the mental calculations that came with it. How long could I sit up for? Which activity should I prioritise? Was the fun thing I wanted to do worth the payback? How much work could I take on? It made me less creative, less willing to try something new in case it turned out not to be worth the effort.

I thought this was just how life would be. Then I started attending my new physio and Ellie turned me upside down (no, I shan’t elaborate) and gave me permission to move how I want to. The pain started to melt away. Because it turns out that the pain wasn’t just a natural consequence of ageing with CP and doing more than I was ‘supposed to’. It was a consequence of holding myself still in order to perform acceptability, of doing things the way I’d been told was normal rather than the ways that work for me. Moving in ways that are more natural for me, and asking for more help than I used to, has helped bring some fluidity back into my body, reducing the rigidity that was the source of all that pain. (I also think having my body and brain treated with a new level of kindness has had quite a lot to do with it, but that is perhaps a topic for a different day.)

I’ve been reluctant to write this post because I know how lucky I am, both to be able to afford this care and to have a body whose pain is treatable. I sort of feel like I’m bragging. And I sort of don’t want to jinx it for myself. But I thought I should write this post because I want other people with CP to know that you don’t have to just grin and bear it. You deserve care that prioritises your wellbeing over shoving you into a box that was never made for you.

And I wanted to write this post because it brings up something important that applies far beyond my body, or CP, or the reduction of pain. Because I’ve been finding it hard to tease out how I feel about this development, and my fear that my delight at being almost pain free will be misinterpreted as saying something about the lives of people who are in pain, or about the need for disabled people to ‘get better’ in the traditional sense.

Pain is, it’s fair to say, rubbish, so being in less of it does mean that my day to day life has improved. I think it’s fine to acknowledge that. But do you know what hasn’t changed? The list of things I can and can’t do (indeed, I am making a concerted effort to do less, as I attempt to put less strain on my nervous system).

In mainstream society, though, we judge disabled people’s ‘quality of life’ by how able they are compared to a nondisabled ‘norm’. The less able, the worse ‘quality of life’ we are assumed to have. I hate this so much that every time I tell someone how great my new physio and pain reduction are, I feel the need to clarify that I am not gaining ability and nor do I want to.

(Important caveat: while pain is undeniably crap, it is also perfectly possible to have a very good life while being in considerable pain. I did for years. I imagine I will again. This is not a post arguing that being in pain makes life terrible. Please do not use it for such nefarious nonsense.)

My experiences in the past few weeks have shown how profoundly wrong the assumed relationship between ability and a good life is. Yet it’s a presupposition that remains deeply ingrained and, among others, underpins so many of the ableist issues we face, from being seen as undatable (who wants to go out with someone whose life is crap?) to the dangers of assisted dying. On a more everyday level, it also underpins a lot of the failures in healthcare that disabled people frequently experience. If medical professionals are only ever interested in ‘improving’ ability, they often ignore the things that disabled people actually want help with, like pain or sleep issues or something entirely unrelated to their primary impairment.

It’s also behind the gross ways we think and talk about disabled kids. The comparisons with nondisabled milestones. The focus on doing things ‘normally’ rather than with ease. The hours spent at physio and speech and language therapy rather than just playing. The praise for fitting in rather than being yourself. Most of us who received these messages as kids spend our adult lives unpacking them, and yet parents and kids are still told that these are the ways to guarantee ‘quality of life’. They are, decidedly, not.

You’ll notice that all through this essay, I have put the phrase ‘quality of life’ in quotation marks (scare quotes?). This is because, while it is a useful shorthand and I do obviously think there are things that can improve or worsen the experience of being alive, I think the concept as we conventionally understand it is… bullshit. For a start, it’s not something we can objectively measure. It certainly isn’t something we can decide about or for anyone else. It definitely isn’t defined or determined by all the things - ability, independence, ‘normality’ - that nondisabled society has decided it should be.

Yes, I am enjoying being in less pain. Yes, it has made my life better. Yes, I am grateful. No, I do not need to be ‘less disabled,’ ‘more able,’ or ‘more normal’ for any of that to be true. My ‘quality of life’ is, as ever, not up for debate.

Speak soon,

Lucy

Subscribe to Lucy's Substack

Please Stop Talking about the ‘Quality’ of Disabled Life

Sy Hoekstra — Thu, 11 Jun 2026 11:03:23 GMT

In today’s episode, I’m sharing another writer’s essay with some thoughts of mine in a brief intro. Lucy Webster is a British journalist and disability activist with Cerebral Palsy. She writes about disability, sexuality, and gender on Substack at The View from Down Here (which is also the title of her book). Click the subscribe button. It’s well worth your time.

Subscribe to The View from Down Here

The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will Cheung

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Bonus Episode: One Walk Home, Two Sighted Assumptions

Sy Hoekstra — Wed, 03 Jun 2026 15:20:13 GMT

In today’s bonus episode:

- Assuming responsibility

- What can she say except you’re welcome?

- Commercial fatigue

- Guilt-based childcare upselling

Submit questions to be answered on future bonus podcasts here: https://deepsy.net/survey/4746402

Today’s music is “DNB Mover” by Andre Louis

The podcast art and other blog graphics are by Will Cheung

Find me on:

- S…

HR Rep Caught off Guard by Blind Job Candidate

Sy Hoekstra — Fri, 29 May 2026 11:03:45 GMT

In today’s episode:

- Interview tickles

- Good liberal panic

- The greatest mystery about Helen Keller

- Deeply empty wisdom

Become a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and bonus episodes every other week!

Or throw a tip in my tip jar!

The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will Cheung

Find me on:

HR Rep Caught off Guard by Blind Job Candidate

Sy Hoekstra — Wed, 27 May 2026 11:02:40 GMT

Hear me read this post on the Deep Sy podcast!

I’m positively tickled I get to conduct nine straight informational interviews this morning. Let’s look out into the waiting area.

“Okay, who do I have first? Is Jared here? Hi Jar—”

AH! That’s a… he’s got, that’s a white cane! But how… how did I miss this? He didn’t put that in his cover letter! But, but the differently abled always say that’s who they are in cover letters. I mean, it’s one piece of who they are. Did I just define someone by a single characteristic? Wow, Derek, get it together! What does that “verbal ecosystem” poster your new boss Kim hung in the break room say? “Words are seeds we plant that grow the workplace environment.” Root yourself in that mantra.

Oh no! He said hi and asked how I am. I’m shaking his hand. How long have I been doing that? Golly have I just been staring at his cane??? Quick, say something!

“I’m well, thank you. I’ll see you in now.”

See you in now?! Derek, where on earth is your lexical stewardship this morning? It’s like you didn’t even attend Kim’s Acoustics of Allyship workshop.

“So, Jared, tell me a little bit about yourself.”

Alright, while he talks, get a grip on yourself. Why did his sight loss startle you? Be brave. There’s no room for able-bodied fragility here. You have to look your toxic notions straight in the eye—look straight in the eye? Again, Derek?

I’m just going to admit it: I don’t know how blind people do jobs. Do I have to hire two people? Jared to have the job, and another person to, you know, do the job?

I almost threw up just thinking that! It’s like my stomach rejects intolerance!

How am I so unprepared for this?! Maybe Kim focuses a tad too much on “beautifying our linguistic landscaping,” and a smidge too little on workplace logistics? No, stop! Kim is helping. Why, she was the first person you heard say, “Every utterance is a micro-action co-curating a collective phonetic atmosphere.” Come to think of it, she’s the only person you’ve heard say that.

Oh, he stopped talking.

“Thank you for that answer. I honor it. Now let me take a look at—Ah! Sorry, I meant read—your resume here. Tell me about your time at Coca-Cola.”

Did Coke have to hire two people???

Ugh, shut up, Derek! Let’s break down the problem. What can blind people do? Um, just brainstorm. No bad ideas. Anything at all…

Wait, Stevie Wonder! And Ray Charles! So they can sing and play piano. Can the White ones?

What? Why would you think that? Besides, this company makes computer parts. We’re not hiring recording artists.

Come on, what else do they do? Um… Daredevil is probably not a realistic example. Oh! Helen Keller! She… what did she do?

You know what? This is just revealing your personal blind spots—OH MY GOD DEREK STOP! Personal ignorance. You meant to think ignorance. Obviously you can’t ask Jared what he’s capable of doing. It’s not his job to educate you. Also that would look really bad in a deposition.

Ah, he’s done with whatever he said.

“Sounds like that was really rewarding. Now tell me, where do you hear yourself in five years? … Sorry? Oh, I, well, I was trying not to say… where do you plan to be in five years.”

You need some sage wisdom here. What does Kim say? “When our values are our compass, empathy is our north star, and the wind of curiosity is at our sails, the moral course we chart will ripple throughout the world.”

Wait, uh-oh… Is Kim… full of crap?

Well, that is disappointing. At the risk of sounding crass, I’d even say it sucks. You’re just gonna have to think your own thoughts then, Derek. Yuck, I don’t like this at all. Okay, discrimination is bad, right? Jared can do whatever he wants, like anyone else. Yes, I won’t assume anything at all. I will offer him a job as a graphic designer. An office decorator. A driver!

Wait… wait a minute! Derek, you ding dong. The answer was staring right at you the whole time! Is “staring” okay to think? Oh, who gives a rat’s patooty? WOO! We’re gettin’ spicy!

You’re literally holding Jared’s resume. Read it! What he can do is right there. How did you not think of that? Unbelievable! I would smack you in the forehead if there wasn’t someone else here. Actually, he can’t see you. I am going to smack you!

“What? You heard that? Oh right, of course you could hear that. Uh, there was a fly in here. I completely missed it and hit myself. Yeah, ha-ha, I’m so blind.”

DAMN IT!

Bonus Episode: I Went to One of Colbert’s Last Shows

Sy Hoekstra — Wed, 20 May 2026 11:00:54 GMT

In today’s bonus episode:

- A Jilted spouse

- Disrespecting the flag, or… a flag

- Beating world-famous furniture with a stick

- Falling woefully short of taking life by the horns

John Sterling’s Home Run Calls in Heaven

Sy Hoekstra — Fri, 08 May 2026 15:46:35 GMT

This week, the Yankees announced their long-time radio broadcaster John Sterling passed away at the age of 87. I’ve been a Yankee fan my whole life. I’m blind and often prefer the radio broadcast for obvious reasons. So I listened to this man talk for approximately 15 million hours. His home run calls, individualized to the hitter, are the stuff of legend, so this is my tribute to the man: the calls he gets to make now.

Cobb shucks it into the right field bleachers!

You can take Ernie to the banks!

Who hit that ball? Why, it’s the Iron Horse, of course!

He Mays, but Willie? He sure did!

Hank gave it a spank!

A big smackie from Jackie!

Don’t snooze-ial on Musial!

You’ll lose your house at the Bellagio, but you can bet on ol’ DiMaggio!

Williams blas-Ted that ball! It was bel-Ted! Rocke-Ted! (he often adds decima-Ted, devasta-Ted, annihila-Ted, oblitera-Ted, or catapul-Ted)

[Singing] Oh ya’ do the Yogi Pokey and you swing that bat around, that’s what it’s Berra-bout!

Put that pitcher’s head on Mickey’s Mantle!!

Harmon Killebrew is harmin’ and killin’ you!

Somebody call Jimmieth Century Foxx—We’ve got a big hit!

Yasss trzemski!

The Ruth, the Ruth, the Ruth is on fire!

Alt: The Great Bambino! Dagli un cappuccino!

Alt: [singing like Justin Bieber] And I was like Baby Baby Baby Ooooh!

Alt: Hummina hummina, awooga! What a Babe!

Bonus Episode: My Experience Inside a Disability Film Festival

Sy Hoekstra — Thu, 07 May 2026 15:40:25 GMT

In today’s bonus episode:

- The blind lead the blind… and momentarily forget who’s leading

- Networking while blind

- Why high-quality and super crappy representation are both important

- My profound and wholly original musings on the power of storytelling

Mentioned in the episode:

- Lone Wolves

- We Might Regret This

- Disposable Humanity

Submit questions to be…

How I Learned to Walk with a White Cane

Sy Hoekstra — Mon, 04 May 2026 11:01:51 GMT

In today’s episode:

- Structurally unsound Sprite buckets

- Shockingly useful bundles of sticks

- The origin story of the RhinoTech Premium Rhino Cane

- Sighted people dive for cover

Mentioned in the episode: Glass Eye Witness News

Become a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and bonus episodes every other week!

Or throw a tip in my tip jar!

The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will Cheung

Find me on:

Living a Life Everyone Fears

Sy Hoekstra — Sat, 02 May 2026 11:02:24 GMT

In today’s episode:

- A nonfatal face crash

- You join my very legal business

- Good, common-sense panic attacks

- Florida man can see your soul for what it is

Become a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and bonus episodes every other week!

Or throw a tip in my tip jar!

The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will Cheung

Find me on: